This week I’ve hit an all time parenting low, I lost my temper. It isn’t something I’m proud of, in fact it’s left me feeling like a really terrible parent.
Until now I’ve successfully managed to keep my cool. It’s been tricky at times – weaning was especially tough. I have an extremely short fuse which Ryan usually bears the brunt of. However on this occasion after a long day at work, on one of the hottest days of the year (neither of which are valid excuses) and with my patience stretched to the max, I snapped. The straw which broke the camel’s back was a bowl of vegetable curry and rice. A dish I lovingly prepared as my child made it known just how hungry he was. Only for him to dump it on the kitchen floor the instant I handed it to him.
I’m pretty sure you’d struggle to find a parent who hasn’t lost their cool. After all were only human and everyone has a limit. Maybe we’re just not as willing to talk about the tough times. The times that you shout, the times that they cry and the times that you’re served an enormous slice of guilt, sprinkled with regret and a dash of disappointment! While it doesn’t eradicate the mom guilt it certainly helps to know that no one is perfect. Sometimes acknowledging that we are all shitty from time to time is the best way to realise how amazing you are the rest of time. With that in mind here are the things which make me a terrible parent.
1. I can’t stop swearing – Growing up I very rarely remember my mum swearing although as I reached my teenage years that quickly changed. Obviously I want Rory to grow up to be a respectful, well mannered little boy so it’s something which I’m trying to make a conscious effort to change. It’s just so bloody hard 😉
2. We ‘sometimes’ eat fish fingers for tea – Fish fingers, the tell tale sign of a can’t be assed mom. If anyone asks I tell them a bare faced lie “we eat them every now and again, just as an emergency tea”. The reality is it’s more like once a week. If I’m feeling super guilty I’ll mix things up and we’ll have chicken nuggets!
3. I hide his favourite books – I have really fond memories of my mum reading me bedtime stories and it’s one of the things I couldn’t wait to do with my own children. That said there’s only so many times you can read ‘The Zoo’ in one day. Bad parent or not I have to draw the line at five for my own sanity.
4. I use my phone far too much – I’ll admit it, I’m addicted to my phone. My idea of a fantastic night in would involve a great big take away, a bottle of wine and several uninterrupted hours of tweeting, instagraming and facebooking. I try my best to limit my screen time during the day but given Rory’s keen interest in all things apple I’d say my attempts are futile.
5. I need to work on my organisation – Been a working mother is tough. Mornings are a constant rush and it feels like we’re always 10 minutes late for everything. Most days were still eating breakfast on our way to nursery and I do wonder what must go through his little head. I’ll never understand how people do it with multiple children.
While I’m sure I’ll never win a parenting award, the guidelines are pretty undefined. Eating fish fingers or cussing doesn’t really make you a terrible parent, it makes you a real parent. Someone who isn’t afraid to hold their hands up and admit that from time to time they do a pretty crappy job. Next time you reach the end of a really bad day, don’t critique your mistakes. Drink a large glass of wine, have a soak in the bath and just remember your not alone. Were all shitty parents who are just trying to do the best for our shitty little kids!
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