Do you remember back in the day when the most challenging part of relationship was deciding who would come first in your MSN name, your best friend or your boyfriend? Now it’s all about who gets the lie in and which one of you has to wash the pots. What happened to that spontaneous couple who frolicked, delirious with sexual desire? Oh yeh, that’s right, they decided to have a baby.
While babies are largely to blame for the lack of impromptu passion in adult relationships, they are not the sole cause. When a new relationship forms it’s exciting. You have this overwhelming desire to spend every waking minute together. It’s almost like the world around you stops. Suddenly you’re high on this new drug. When you’re not completely off your tits it’s the only thing you can think about. The rational part of you knows that it can’t last and eventually you’ll come down. You’ve survived enough failed relationships to know that our lives are not animated by Disney. Before long the real world takes over and soon enough the tiniest thing he’ll do will piss you off.
Once the honeymoon period ends shit can get serious very quickly. This is the time when most couples take their relationship to the next level, they move in together. Everyone knows that you don’t really know someone until you live with them and it’s true. Living together means seeing the person you love in a whole different light. You suddenly go from seeing their best side to seeing every side. As they say the good, the bad and the downright revolting.
It also means that you’ll quickly start to notice their annoying habits. Leaving their pants on the floor, not putting the milk back in the fridge, using an inexcusable amount of loo roll when they go for a shit…need I go on? It’s around this point that you’ll start to question your future. Are you prepared to put up with this crap for the rest of your life? I’ve heard rumours that apparently some women have successfully kicked their other halves into shape – moulding them into ‘perfect partners’ – personally I think it’s a load of old codswallop. You’re either willing to sign up for a life sentence or you’re packing your bags and running for the hills.
Obviously this works both ways. While it infuriates women to find the toilet seat up, I’m sure men are equally as arsy when they find random tampons laying around the house! *Sarcasm alert. If I’m considerate enough to house my lady products out of sight be a star and put the chuffing lid down!
So now you’re living together, you’re accepting of each other’s bad habits, maybe you even decide to get married (something which I can’t comment on as he is yet to put a ring on it – I can’t imagine why) and now you’re ready to start a family. In an ideal world that this the preferable sequence of events. The reality is often very different. Regardless of whether your pregnancy is a surprise or if you’ve gone through months, maybe years of trying, I’m not sure that any of us really ready for the turmoil which lays ahead?
If you thought moving in together was painful, raising a child together is a whole different ball game. Bad habits which once drove you to despair will now seem trivial. Your worlds revolves around a tiny human who refuses to comply with standard protocol and everything begins to feel like an impossible task. As you begin to lose touch with the real world, you’ll find yourselves competing for the ‘who’s the tiredest parent’ award. Don’t worry things get easier around four months. Just as you start to believe in your own parenting techniques sleep regression hits and everything goes to shit.
The truth is that relationships get hard when we became adults. Children or no children there comes a time when one night stands and flings just don’t cut it. We yearn for commitment and companionship but it comes at a price. Adult relationships aren’t about spontaneity or lust, there about compromise and understanding. Living your lives in each others pockets will be difficult at times but real love prevail. As the old saying goes nothing worth having comes easy.
As seen originally at jakijellz.com
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