As part of positivity week I’ll sharing content written by real Mom’s. Women whose honest approach to parenting helps to share positivity. I hope that by doing so we can help to squash the stigma and help others to understand what it really means to be a Mommy blogger. Today’s post is written by Nicola from Mummy Wales.
Parenting is hard. I know. I’ve been there and I’m still there. I’m talking about the early (and not so early) days when you would willingly palm your precious bundle off to the postman, the bus driver, a neighbour, the guy on the doorstep offering to replace your fascia. Anybody. Just to get some kip.
Sleep deprivation is a killer but, let’s face it, the blame does not lie solely at it’s door. Let’s not forget the leaky poops in public places, the leaky boobs in public places, having to sterilise everything, the judgements, sometimes from other mums (which to me is inexplicable). The fussy eating. The playgroups where everybody else knows each other – but nobody talks to you. The incessant monotony of the bloody routine. Having to take the buggy everywhere but there never being enough space for it. Being known as ‘so and so’s mum’. Nits. The dissolution of any previous career. Not being able to jump on a trampoline without having to concentrate really, really hard (you know what I’m talking about). The sad decline of your friendships with non-mum mates. Being told to appreciate your kids (really?) and the potty training. Oh Lord, the potty training.
To misquote the words of John Lennon: crikey, I know it ain’t easy.
But I’m over it. I fully admit there are days when I want to shut myself in the bathroom and eat my weight in Jaffa Cakes, but I don’t want that to be all motherhood ever was to me. Sometimes I am actually happy. There, I said it. And happy is good.
Are you happy? I want to know one thing that made you smile today. And if not your day, maybe your week?
Maybe your baby smiled for the first time. Maybe you made it out of the house. Maybe your eldest said thank you. Maybe you managed to put the washing on. Maybe you laughed till you cried. Maybe you received a compliment. Maybe you managed to have a shower and get dressed. Maybe you taught your kid to fist bump. Maybe you showed your baby a wiggly worm in the garden. Maybe you paid an outstanding bill. Maybe your child wrote their name for the first time. Maybe you caught a second of glorious sunshine and basked in it for just a moment. Maybe you managed to bath all the kids together by yourself. Maybe they ate what you gave them. Maybe Mummy ‘made it all better’. Maybe you managed to keep it together today. Maybe you got a squeezy cuddle. Maybe your kid needed you and you were there.
These are all times you won at parenting, my friend. So don’t be too hard on yourself and do tell someone about it. Tell me, or your partner. Or even Twitter. It’s not bragging. It’s healthy. Do it today. Do it now.
I don’t want to fill my blog with posts about the bad times. Sometimes I vent, yes, because I’m human, but I don’t want to focus on the negatives at the expense of the positives. Because if I look hard, there are plenty of positives worth shouting about. And those are the times I want ingrained on my memory, not the moments I struggled. I want to remember that I managed. In fact, not just ‘managed’, but absolutely slayed motherhood.
I’m not the perfect mum – there have been ups and downs. But I don’t want to look back at my blog in years to come and wonder if I was ever happy. Because I am. Writing events down commits them to memory. And I want to remember the happy moments. Don’t you?