Things people without children take for granted

When you become a parent your life changes forever. It’s something which happens almost overnight that nothing can really prepare you for. What used to be the simplest of tasks now becomes near on impossible. You find yourself living in a world where you must orchestrate even a trip to ASDA with military precision. If you could, you’d hunt your pre-baby self-down and punch her right in the tit! How dare she think her life is hard, does she even know the meaning of the word tired? You see there are a lot of things which people without children take for granted! 

I’ll begin with some of the more obvious ones:

  • Peeing/pooping/showering alone –
    It’s common knowledge that kids have to come everywhere with you. The one time you do manage to escape to the loo alone, undoubtedly they’ll find something hard to face plant! 
  • Eating hot food/drinking hot drinks –
    Did you know that children are born with heat sensors. If your coffee is cold they couldn’t give a hoot however try sitting down to enjoy a hot beverage. Before you know it there’ll be little chubby hands coming at you from all angles!
  • Uninterrupted sleep – 
    This one may seem pretty obvious. However until someone wakes you up every two hours, places a wailing new born on your boob and tells you that if you fall asleep while breast feeding YOUR BABY WILL DIE, you can’t possibly understand. 
  • Spontaneous outings – 
    When your life revolves around your toddlers nap time all spontaneity goes out the window.
  • Lazy Sundays –
    Remember those afternoons spent lounging around, catching up on soaps, maybe even reading a book? Those days are gone, there dead! Now your Sundays are spent desperately trying to distract the child from poking his finger in the plug socket or licking the skirting board!

Now for the ones which I didn’t pre-empt:

  • Nipping places –
    When it takes you 20 minutes to ram a rigid toddler into a car seat there’s no way in hell your nipping anywhere!
  • Having a handbag –
    In order to execute a faultless outing, it is a requirement (by the unwritten rule of how not to be a shitty parent) that you must pack half of your pissin house, thus planning for every eventuality! No one is going to fit all that shit in a handbag, so you buy the largest nappy bag available and start only carrying your purse. 
  • Going to a public bathroom –
    Public toilets are not made for parents with prams and surprisingly not all baby changing facilities have toilets in them. Leaving you with no other option than to use the disabled toilet, which in my experience are not always the cleanest.
  • Getting ready –
     You spend 90% of your time taking care of your demanding offspring, date night rolls round and you can almost smell the freedom! However before the babysitter arrives and you run for the hills, you have the arduous task of getting ready…while supervising the delinquents!
  • Using Escalators –
    As if life wasn’t hard enough! Now you’re expected to join the long queue of desperate parents, all sporting the same look of anguish, as you wait to be transported from one floor to another.

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37 Comments

  1. January 16, 2017 / 11:29 pm

    Using escalators! It’s such on novelty to get on one these days, I took them so for granted! X

    • Mommyandrory
      January 18, 2017 / 7:54 pm

      It’s just so much quicker than taking the lift!

  2. January 17, 2017 / 7:46 am

    Yes to all of this. Especially in the early days, although now my son is 3 going up and down an escalator is akin to spending the day in the park for him! #dreamteam
    ourrachblogs recently posted…Blogging – Why do we do it?My Profile

    • Mommyandrory
      January 18, 2017 / 7:51 pm

      The joys of life when your 3 years old! Thanks for reading xx

  3. January 17, 2017 / 7:51 am

    This made me laugh, it’s all so true! #DreamTeam

    • Mommyandrory
      January 18, 2017 / 7:49 pm

      Glad it made you laugh, thanks for reading xx

  4. January 17, 2017 / 8:03 am

    Oh this is just fab! Oh the lazy Sunday one – that was hard! It gets a little easier as they get to the teen stage which is where I’m at though you then become a taxi and have to enter the whole world of not having a drink pn a Saturday evening as you have to pick up from parties!! #DreamTeam

  5. January 17, 2017 / 8:25 am

    I sure miss drinking my tea hot and wearing cute handbags instead of oversized bags full of the baby things #dreamteam

    • Mommyandrory
      January 18, 2017 / 7:48 pm

      One very small part of returning to work that I’m actually looking forward to is having a hand bag. It’ll make a nice change. Thanks for reading xx

  6. January 17, 2017 / 10:06 am

    Relatable list! I had to walk around my office building on two mornings last week because I forgot to replace the cars in there with my work pass. The struggle is real! #DreamTeam
    Become Mum recently posted…Getting ready for Round TwoMy Profile

    • Mommyandrory
      January 18, 2017 / 7:46 pm

      This made me laugh! I can just imagine how irritated you were to find cars instead of your pass! Thanks for reading xx

  7. January 17, 2017 / 1:27 pm

    Ah yes – everything revolves around the toddler nap! We can only really go out between the hours of 9-12:30 so as not to interfere with my daughter’s nap time. She won’t go in a buggy and we rarely take our car out, so they only way we can get her to sleep is at home. I’m sure I’ll miss these naps when she gives them up, but it would be nice to actually be able to go out for a full day! #DreamTeam
    The Squirmy Popple recently posted…Save the Lanarkshire Baby BankMy Profile

    • Mommyandrory
      January 18, 2017 / 7:45 pm

      In some respects it was easier when they were new born and would just sleep anywhere! As they get older they much more picky. Rory used to sleep in the car all the time, now I can even get away with nipping to McDonalds drive through for a coffee, I’m sure he smells the burgers! Thanks for reading xx

  8. January 17, 2017 / 8:49 pm

    Haha yes. I miss hot coffee in a mug and reading a weekend newspaper while having a leisurely breakfast at 11am. Yvadney x #DreamTeam

    • Mommyandrory
      January 18, 2017 / 7:40 pm

      A leisurely breakfast! Those were the days! That would now be called an early lunch in our house! Thanks for reading xx

  9. January 17, 2017 / 9:07 pm

    hahaha! This made me LOL! Love this! So true…specially the handbag/change bag one…and if I leave the house with my purse and phone it’s a miracle. Thank goodness for Apple Pay is all I can say these days. Oh and spontaneous outings and nipping out – pffft – not do able! Fab read for my Tuesday evening! Thank you! #DreamTeam

    • Mommyandrory
      January 18, 2017 / 7:39 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it! I’m forever forgetting one thing or another! Thanks for reading xx

  10. January 19, 2017 / 12:34 pm

    I didn’t pre-empty nipping places either. A quick dash to the shop is far from ‘quick’ these days! #StayClassyMama

    • Mommyandrory
      January 21, 2017 / 10:10 am

      One of the joys of parenting that even Gina Ford couldn’t solve! Thanks for reading xx

  11. January 19, 2017 / 6:24 pm

    What a fun and relatable post! It’s amazing how moms (or dads) could be from just about anywhere and still have such scary similar experiences. I have an almost 3-year-old and a 10 month old (tomorrow) and I couldn’t have agreed more with your points, except one. What is nipping? I think I get it, with reference to the context – do you mean just dropping by somewhere – but I am not 100% certain. #stayclassymama (I am from the U.S., that might be a culturally specific word).

    • Mommyandrory
      January 20, 2017 / 12:37 am

      Yeh, so nipping would be to the store for just milk. Something which would have taken 5 minutes before but now with the kids tagging along takes hours! It’s a term used quite frequently in the North of England, I’m not even sure if Southerns use the term so your probably not the only one who needs clarification 😊
      Thanks for reading my post, it’s great to know it’s reached the US xx

    • Mommyandrory
      January 21, 2017 / 10:18 am

      Sounds to me like your due a lazy Sunday, followed by a trip on an escalator and a good nights sleep (unbroken of course!). Thanks for reading xx

  12. January 20, 2017 / 9:03 pm

    Ah this is brilliant and I really had a good chuckle whilst frantically nodding along! I have become so engulfed in mourning for my handbag that I now carry a giant changing rucksack along with a teeny shoulder bag that has JUST purse, phone, tissues and keys in. This is MY bag which stays attached to me at all times while the rucksack gets abandoned on pushchairs, soft play tables blah blah blah. It helps me to retain a sense of human. 😉 Thanks for linking up to #DreamTeam x
    Rhyming with Wine recently posted…Going AWOL…My Profile

    • Mommyandrory
      January 21, 2017 / 10:33 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it. Bonus points that it made you laugh…I never know if my post just sounds funny in my head. Always a little concerned others wont get it! What an excellent idea! I am slightly looking forward to having a handbag when I return to work. Obviously the anxiety of returning to work is currently outweighing the excitement for the bag! Thanks for reading xx

  13. January 21, 2017 / 1:54 pm

    HA! So very true! Closing your eyes…that’s another one. Just a five-minute power nap could be the start of a dozen eggs getting cracked into the floor by your toddler.

    #stayclassymama

  14. January 21, 2017 / 3:08 pm

    Oh my goodness, lifts drive me mad! It’s so ingrained into me to use the lift now that when I was out childless the other day I kept going to use it. My husband would point out I could use the stairs like I was a lunatic! #fortheloveofBLOG
    Angela Watling recently posted…Reasons I am grateful #1My Profile

  15. January 21, 2017 / 11:29 pm

    Great post. Only today I was trying to get our buggy into an undersized disabled loo that had seen better days with a soap dispenser that released TINY amounts of soap at a time. It’s definitely at the weekends that I miss the simple life the most.

  16. January 22, 2017 / 9:07 am

    Also eating without being interrupted and having to get up and down a million times – I didn’t anticipate that! #thelistlinky

  17. January 22, 2017 / 1:56 pm

    Yes!! I also really miss enjoying a meal out at a restaurant. Most of my time at a restaurant with a toddler is spent cutting her food, making sure she doesn’t tip over the high chair, and keeping her happy while attempting to eat my own meal before it gets cold and/or she has a meltdown! #TheListLinky

  18. January 22, 2017 / 8:53 pm

    Yes to all of these !!!! Who knew being a parent would change your life so much in every way possible. Thank you for linking up #fortheloveofBLOG

  19. January 22, 2017 / 9:09 pm

    Yes to all of these. I was just thinking yesterday when I realised we had run out of bread that I wished I could just pop out to the shop 5 minutes away to get some..taking both kids there normally takes about an hour of preparation. I would love to go back and slap my former self too whenever she said she was tired!xx #thelist

  20. January 22, 2017 / 11:45 pm

    Hahaha, so very true! One more I would add is – just when you’re about to sit down to eat, your little one decides to wake up screaming the place down 🙂 but maybe it keeps happening to me lol! xx #TheListLinky

  21. January 23, 2017 / 7:04 pm

    So true! Haha I get excited when I go somewhere without a baby and I can actually use a escalator!

  22. January 24, 2017 / 4:32 pm

    It’s funny, the two that stood out to me the most was sleeping and lazy sunday’s, I obviously need a good looooong sleep! Although to be fair, my son has been sleeping through the night since I had this amazing sleep trainer come in and help us! (Her name is Hannah at Yummy Baby Group if anyone is desperate and sees this comment). But it doesn’t change the fact that I still get up at 6am! Haha anyway sorry for getting side tracked. I love this post, I think everyone who is a non-parent should read this!

  23. January 24, 2017 / 10:55 pm

    I will never miss escalators, I hate them. I do however agree with the rest of the list! #StayClassyMama

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