Mama Needs some New Knickers

I have a confession to make…I’m still wearing my pregnancy pants!

Yes, I’m talking about those ginormous briefs that everyone tells you to buy in preparation for when hell literally falls out of your vagina!

*FYI for those who are yet to experience childbirth, this ‘HELL‘ I speak of is not your child. It is in fact the joyous bloodbath which follows the arrival of your precious human. 

You know the ones I’m referring to. The pants that have room to accommodate a sanitary towel the size of a house brick. The pants that your youthful self would have sneered at. Well those pants are still very much a part of my life. It’s been over 15 month since Rory’s arrival and I’m fresh out of excuses. This mama is in serious need of some new knickers!

Mama Needs some New Knickers - I have a confession to make...I'm still wearing my pregnancy pants!

It was my mother-in-law who first told me about buying brief’s even Bridget Jones would be fearful of. Until that point I hadn’t really given much thought to life immediately after labour  – aside from the child that you’re now suddenly entirely responsible for. The nearest I’d come to giving birth was watching ‘knocked up’.

Isn’t it funny how Hollywood never depicts the true aftermath which follows childbirth. Instead it’s all about the joys of motherhood. They seem to forget about the terrifying first trip to the loo or the fact that it renders you incapable of holding in your own farts! – I’d like to take this opportunity to confirm that after several months of rigorous pelvic floor exercises I can now successfully stop myself from trumping in public. I cannot however always guarantee that I won’t wee a little when faced with an extremely funny situation! 

During pregnancy I followed all the advice from the parenting forums and took myself off to Primark to purchase the biggest pair of BLACK pants I could find. *Pregnant ladies take note! That word is in bold. That’s because nobody wants to be wearing white knickers after birthing a baby! Now I’m not talking about women’s briefs or those cute Brizillian pants, I’m talking about knickers that your Nan would wear! So big they come over you belly button, nine months pregnant or not!

So why is it that I’m still wearing those atrocious knickers? Short answer…they’re comfy! I’m alarmingly aware that I sound like my mother but it’s true. Before pregnancy I was a french knicker kind of girl who every so often had a little dab in the thong section. But let’s be honest ladies, discreetly pulling your thong from out of your ass is near on impossible when you’re 8 months pregnant. There comes a time when you most succumb to the big knickers. In the words of Paolo Nutini, there’s no other way. 

But that doesn’t really explain why over 15 months on I’m still rocking the Nan look. They’re clearly doing me no favours (especially in the bedroom department but then again who has time for that shit anyway?) and I really don’t have any plausible explanation as to why I willingly choose them every morning! It’s just so hard to let go.

Knowing that my addiction has gone on too long I’ve decided it’s time to demote my big knickers to sleep wear. Heavens knows they’re large enough to pass off as shorts. At least this way I don’t have to part with them completely. So with my pregnancy pants reserved solely for the bedroom – isn’t Ryan a lucky man – I think it’s only fair I take myself shopping. Step aside Primark has-beens this mama’s on the hunt for some new knickers!

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22 Comments

  1. May 22, 2017 / 7:04 am

    Ha ha. Good luck with your knickers shopping. Not having kids I’m slight horrified by this post! But it did make my chuckle.

  2. May 22, 2017 / 7:10 am

    I’ve never really gone back to nice pants. I’ve bought new ones since pregnancy, but stuck to an m&s 5 pack of plain black cotton knickers. They’re so comfy!! #marvmondays
    Donna recently posted…My Happy List #7My Profile

  3. May 22, 2017 / 9:00 am

    Haha, I’m all about M&S knickers! I never bought pregnancy pants but my knickers are deifnitely more comfortable than the cheese wire ones I used to wear! Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays

  4. May 22, 2017 / 9:27 pm

    Love this!! Pre children I used to spend a lot of money in La Senza – those days have long gone! I’m not even sure La Senza exists anymore!! #marmondays
    natalie recently posted…Could you do it?? GULPMy Profile

  5. May 23, 2017 / 6:38 am

    I laughed so hard that I spit out some of my soda! #DreamTeam

  6. May 23, 2017 / 8:30 am

    I have a confession to make too… I threw my pregnancy knickers away and then missed them so much I went your and bought more!!!! 10 months since Wills, still struggling with my addiction!! Haha #DreamTeam
    Aleena Brown recently posted…Sleep Training: Don’t Wake The Baby!My Profile

  7. May 23, 2017 / 5:46 pm

    wait till you reach 45 and have had 3 kids, i’ve moved back into big knickers for they are so bloody comfy and keep my baby belly tucked in. My baby belly btw is now 25 years old. #triumphanttales
    chickenruby recently posted…Animals on my UK travelsMy Profile

  8. May 24, 2017 / 1:51 pm

    haha … I don’t think I’ve worn a thong for about 7 years. They are the worst most uncomfortable item of ‘clothing’ ever invented. So what if people can see your knickers seam. Really? Why should it be hidden?
    #dreamteam

  9. May 24, 2017 / 6:41 pm

    I wear french knickers or lacy briefs. It’s been a long while since I was last pregnant and in the last 3 years I have put on nearly 4 stone, but good old primark does some fancy knicksers I can still fit my butt into with out being cut in two lol.
    #TriumphantTales
    Ali Duke recently posted…Poole Quay Bike NightMy Profile

  10. May 25, 2017 / 12:34 pm

    Hahaha you had me at the word knickers. I love this – as I was reading, I realised I am exactly the same right now! Meet you in the underwear aisle! #dreamteam

  11. May 25, 2017 / 8:12 pm

    I used to be a thong girl but I am well and truly in the mummy brief stage and come to think of it that happened post babies ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime ๐ŸŽ‰
    Imperfect Mum recently posted…#a blogging good time #50My Profile

  12. May 26, 2017 / 8:21 am

    Very funny. But if you’re comfortable, isn’t that the main thing?
    #TriumphantTales

  13. May 26, 2017 / 8:32 pm

    You just sent me on a Paolo YouTube binge…I’m not complaining!

    I’m all about comfy pants! Even my regular ones aren’t any more daring than a bikini brief. I think I put up with thongs for all of five minutes back in the day, and it’s been full coverage ever since.

    #MarvMondays (v.late)
    Sadie recently posted…weekly menu + health updateMy Profile

  14. May 28, 2017 / 7:13 pm

    Haha! What a giggle and props to you for blogging about your knickers. They need to be ginormous don’t they, and yes, absolutely black, I agree. Enjoy your new pants! You deserve them. #DreamTeam x
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons recently posted…#HappyLittleButtons May 2017 Round-upMy Profile

  15. May 29, 2017 / 5:14 pm

    Oh these granny pants are fab!!! I’ve always been a knickers girl but pretty and low cut ones at that. Then late pregnancy and post baby out they came and never gone up to the loft since. I am currently wearing Tescos seamless pants and are a middle ground. I might wean myself into the sexy pants again!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back tomorrow

  16. May 31, 2017 / 7:59 am

    Hahah those knickers are awesome! (My sixteen year old self is giving me the stink eye haha) who cares if theyre like granny pants, they are comfortable and thats all that matters! ๐Ÿ˜˜ Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!
    The Mum Project recently posted…Live Without A MapMy Profile

  17. May 31, 2017 / 9:54 pm

    It’s almost 11pm (yes I have no bloody life because all I do is read linkies) and I literally yelped at the first line and the bit about hell. Ask my husband; he’s right here. I yelped. This is so funny. Now with a 13 (almost…4 more days to go!), 10 and 7yo I am glad to say I’m typing this comment…

    …in my…

    …THONG

    Boom.

    #StayClassyMama
    absolutely prabulous recently posted…We Are Not The SameMy Profile

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