Less Like a Mommy and More Like a Daddy?

Less Like a Mommy - Last Friday was like hopping in a time machine and going back to the newborn days. Maybe my lack of military precision was my downfall? Maybe I just need to start scheduling play dates for after 11am? Maybe I've just become more like a dad?

Less Like a Mommy - Last Friday was like hopping in a time machine and going back to the newborn days. Maybe my lack of military precision was my downfall? Maybe I just need to start scheduling play dates for after 11am? Maybe I've just become more like a dad?

Since my return to work I’ve been taking most Fridays off as annual leave. I’ve accrued so much holiday time and with our entitlement renewing in July, it’s use it or lose it time! As much as I love our family weekends, it’s also great to get some one on one time with Rory. Last week I was especially looking forward to my Friday off work. As you know we’re trying to save for a house so I’ve been doing a bit of overtime at work. The early morning starts have been a drag but the money makes it worthwhile! So when Friday finally rolled round I couldn’t wait to throw my office gear in the wash, stick my hair in mumbun and whack on a pair of leggings! I was back in SAHM mode – if only for one day – and I was going to rock it! 

Or so I thought. 

It turns out that the transition from SAHM (stay at home mum) to FTWM (full time working mum) is difficult. What’s more difficult is the transition back from FTWM to SAHM that you’re expected to make at least once a week. Just as you get your head around your new routine, the weekend arrives and your back to family life. I’m not sure I should really admit this but I actually feel a very small amount of sympathy for my other half. All those weekends where he had no idea if he was coming or going, I now understand. I get it because now that’s me too!

Am I Becoming Less Like a Mommy and More Like a Daddy?

With the weather forecast not too promising we planned to meet one of the Mommy friends at soft play. Arranging to meet at 9am, my teenage self would be ashamed to know I now consider that a lie in! My mother on the other hand would just say I told you so. Maybe I let the lie in go to my head because by 8am we were running late. With no time for coffee let alone breakfast – who I am kidding time had nothing to do with it. The only bread in the cupboard was a week old and forget penicillin, it was growing a new life form! – I set about the daunting task of getting ready.

 Two weeks of over time has definitely spoilt me. Arriving at work for 6am means the chance to shower and get ready alone. A rarity for any SAHM but something I’ve clearly become accustom to. Friday was like trying to train a suicidal chimp while attempting to apply makeup. In other words in was a pissin disaster! As if trapping his fingers in the draws wasn’t enough, obviously Rory did a shit immediately after changing his nappy and then proceeded to regurgitate his breakfast whilst I was brushing my teeth. 

Four thousand wet wipes later, two changes of clothes and with a  pair of slightly misshapen brows we were finally out of the door.

Where did the Super-SAH-Mum Go?

Back in February I had it down to a tee. Getting myself ready with the small one in toe was a breeze. But last Friday was like hopping in a time machine and going back to the newborn days. Maybe my lack of military precision was my downfall? Maybe I just need to start scheduling play dates for after 11am? Maybe I’ve just become more like a dad?

Now before I go any further I want to make it clear that my intentions are not to offend anyone. I’m certainly not trying to diminish the role of a father. In our home for a long time I was the stay at home parent. I’m sure you’ll agree with me when I say it is more common for a mum to be a stay at home parent. Of course I’m fully aware that there are plenty of stay at home dads who do a fantastic job of raising their children. I do however think there is a significant difference between the demands of a stay at home parent and that of a parent who works. 

As the stay at home parent I was the master of multitasking. I knew my child inside out. But as a working parent there’s a lot I miss. Children at Rory’s age change so quickly. If five days pass without us spending much time together, the weekend arrives and it’s no exaggeration, he’s a completely different child. Things which made him laugh last weekend are now an annoyance to him, he has a new favourite book and all of a sudden he can walk backwards! It’s easy to see why the parents who work feel out of the loop. 

But Does it Matter?

Take it from someone who’s been on either side of the fence, each role comes with different challenges. Both of which are equally testing. It isn’t until now that I can truly appreciate how arduous each one can be. The nice thing about being more like a dad is that it puts Ryan and I on the same page. For a long time it’s been like were not level pegging and it’s a sure fire way for the petty arguments to start. Who works the hardest, who’s more tired, who’s turn is it to take out the bin. I hope that in the long run having two parents who work full time doesn’t have any long term detrimental effects on Rory. It just means for now I’m going to have to keep a few additional plates spinning if I want good brows!


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  1. Kerrie Owen
    May 19, 2017 / 6:38 am

    Brilliant post as always! I have had to play the role of mum and dad to thomas for the first 8 years of his life while working full time and am sure I have been the crappy part of both parents at times. It is a lot of juggling! Don’t worry though, thomas has turned out okay (in my opinion anyway!) and he has masses of respect for how much I worked so that he could have the best start possible. You just carry on as you are because you are doing great, equal eyebrows are so overrated anyway ?Xx

  2. May 19, 2017 / 7:14 am

    Pooping after getting a fresh diaper is the worst! #BlogCrush

  3. May 19, 2017 / 9:41 am

    It’s definitely hard to make the transition from SAHM to FTWM. Getting ready for work in the morning while a toddler follows me around whinging is a nightmare! I’ve recently decided to transition down to 4 days a week to get a bit more of that work/life balance back – plus nursery fees are ridiculous. Working mum 4 days/SAHM 3 days feels like the right mix for me, but it’s different for every family. #BlogCrush

  4. May 19, 2017 / 10:22 am

    This is great to read as I have just written a similar post about the role of mum and dad! It’s interesting to see how everyone’s family dynamics are different. I work full time too, but I definitely think I have more of a routine now than when I was on maternity leave which actually makes it easier, and can agree that days off or at the weekend, the routine goes to pot and everything is that little bit harder to do! Although I think I’d rather experience that on days off than work days!! #blogcrush

  5. May 19, 2017 / 11:24 am

    Oh all the plates spinning for good brows for sure! It’s a tough one the whole SAHM versus working mum – I’ve been there too. Enjoy the hot coffee. Enjoy the equalisation in the relationship – that feels good – wrongly or rightly and we could debate this for hours but that feeling of worth from actually going to work does feel good xx #BlogCrush

  6. May 19, 2017 / 1:19 pm

    Getting the right mix of working mum v sahm mum is a minefield for sure.

  7. May 20, 2017 / 7:28 pm

    I’ve never been a sahm but a ftwm and now a ptwm and being full time and a single parent was the most challenging thing i have ever done! I can totally see where you are coming from with them being so different when you haven’t seen them much in a few days! #kcacols

  8. May 20, 2017 / 10:30 pm

    There is no single perfect balance, just the as perfect as possible balance for your own family. You will find it. #KCACOLS

  9. May 21, 2017 / 12:05 am

    I’ve done fulltime working mum, part time working mum and stay at home mum. The full time working mum seems to do it the hardest, and works the hardest to make sure their kid doesn’t miss out (running on guilt). The stay at home mum has the luxury of saying ‘oh, I can’t be bothered doing that, I’ll do something else tomorrow’. Whatever you do is fine,as long as you front up when needed…that’s my 2 cents #KCACOLS

  10. May 21, 2017 / 7:52 pm

    I’m sure that nobody noticed those misshapen brows #thatfridaylinky

  11. May 22, 2017 / 6:39 am

    Great post hun, it can’t be easy making that transition at a moments notice! The plate spinning isn’t easy but I have no doubt you’ve got this covered xx #marvmondays

  12. May 22, 2017 / 10:21 am

    As a mum who has just gone back to work after maternity leave – albeit part time, I love this post so much. You are very right they are different roles and I think both the Other Half and I now have a much greater appreciation for what the other one does, I hope next Friday goes a bit better for you. Thank you for sharing this and making me feel more normal #PostsFromTheHeart

  13. May 22, 2017 / 11:42 am

    I think I’ve done it all, SAHM, FTWM, Single mum at home, single mum with full time job, and it’s all about transition. but I agree, they change so much in so little time when they are young, it’s much easier when they are older.

  14. May 22, 2017 / 4:34 pm

    Oh I never thought of this before. I am still a SAHM at the moment but my return to work is edging ever-nearer! I can really imagine now how difficult the transition must be, and I think I need to be a little more patient with hubby after reading this. #blogcrush

  15. May 22, 2017 / 7:39 pm

    Sorry for the late comment, it was a busy weekend! This was such an interesting read, I’d never thought of it like this before!! Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

  16. May 22, 2017 / 8:03 pm

    It must be very difficult to balance out great read Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  17. May 23, 2017 / 10:34 am

    It’s hard to balance isn’t it. I work 3 days a week so get the balance of working and also being at home and admit work days can be easier!!! Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays x

  18. May 23, 2017 / 2:55 pm

    You had me at “stick my hair in mumbun and whack on a pair of leggings” – as a stay at home mom, this is my daily go to ensemble… haha! I can only imagine how tough it is once you go back to work. I hope you find your perfect balance. x 🙂 #PostsFromTheHeart

  19. May 23, 2017 / 8:16 pm

    I know I wouldn’t be able to be a sahm, my wife is amazing though, so we’re well suited to our rolls. #kcacols

  20. May 24, 2017 / 1:51 pm

    I am a part-time working mum and I definitely find it hard to balance everything! I find it a little like being stuck between two worlds without being able to fully live in either sometimes, but I know i’d rather be on the sahm side! #postsfromtheheart

  21. May 24, 2017 / 6:51 pm

    I hadn’t considered the switch working parents have to make for the weekend before. Great post x
    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time.

  22. May 26, 2017 / 12:48 pm

    It must feel strange having such a big change to your daily routine but it sounds as though you’re handling it really well
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂

  23. May 26, 2017 / 10:30 pm

    I definitely found everything easier in the first months when I didn’t have to juggle work as well. Even though I primarily work from home it’s still hard. #kcacols

  24. May 29, 2017 / 2:24 am

    Keep thoughts plates spinning. If you can do it then let me know as i smash more than i spin 🙂 #PostsFromTheHeart

  25. May 29, 2017 / 3:28 pm

    I can see both sides too – I’m currently ‘just’ a mum but will soon be working again when my maternity leave ends… #postsfromtheheart

  26. May 29, 2017 / 10:56 pm

    I hear you about the level pegging that comes when you both work. I’m just starting maternity leave again, and I’m actually a little nervous as I do remember the tension that sometimes came out of trying to be understood as being equally tired and overworked as my husband even though only one of us had been out at work all day!

  27. November 17, 2017 / 10:25 am

    Great post, setting the standard high as always.
    My friends worry about this too sometimes, I always say to them that you doing your best is what counts 🙂

    Maria – Baby Things

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