Good Parenting – Things That We Said We Would Never Do

*WARNING – This post contains language which some readers may find inappropriate*

As parents I’m sure we all have one thing in common. The misconceptions we had of rearing children in our pre-baby days. Having spent very little time around young children I was certainly under no impression that I had the game sussed. Although admittedly, it’s a task which is easy to underestimate if you’ve never had to rise to the challenge.

I remember been about six months pregnant. I was in a Gina Ford induced coma of delirious ideas, spouting foolish notions that only a first time mom could come up with.

Here’s a run down of the top five things I said I would never do:

  1. “I’ll never be one of those mom’s who talks about their kids constantly”
    Easily said when you’re pregnant and still have a social life. Just wait until you’ve been off work three months. Soon your entire world will revolve around the Jeremy Kyle show and what colour your babies shit is!
  2. “I’ll never swear in front of my child”
    I really wish I was one of those people who could stub their toe and shout “BUBBLEGUM” but I’m not. There’s a strong possibility Rory’s first word will be shit but as long as it isn’t cunt then I think we’re winning!
  3. “My child will only eat home cooked, organic meals”
    It’s a successful day if I manage to get him to eat anything other than yogurt.
  4. “I won’t let my child watch TV until he’s four”–   
    I honestly can’t remember the specific age I mindlessly declared my unborn child old enough for screen time but it was somewhere around four. It’s safe to say what ever age it was, I was talking out of my arse! We’re not yet in the habit of using the TV as a full time babysitter. Although for some reason Peppa Pig has made her way to the top of my recommended videos on youtube. 
  5. “I’m not going to use my phone in front of my child”
    Anyone who looks at my Twitter feed knows that this couldn’t be any further from the truth. Either that or Rory spends the majority of his life locked in the cupboard under the stairs like some toddleresque version of Harry Potter!

Thinking back I had some pretty idiotic ideas. Even though I knew I was signing myself up for failure, at the time I was positive it was the key to good parenting. A year in and I’m still not really sure that I’m any more clued up. I still make mistakes and I still go to sleep promising myself I’ll do better tomorrow. But I’m now sure of one thing, allowing your toddler to watch Peppa pig does not make you a bad parent. You might not win the parenting equivalent of a golden globe but if it means you get to nursery on time and nobody notices that your top is inside out, then you’re doing good!


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54 Comments

  1. February 20, 2017 / 12:00 pm

    Haha I had this list! My boyfriend always said “If our childrens first word is cunt I’m taking them and we’re moving out” Neither have said it though my eldest may well have repeated ‘for fucksake’ at a passing car one day…..

  2. February 20, 2017 / 9:33 pm

    I love this becky! We are only human and you are a fab mum, twitter is your escapism ๐Ÿ˜˜

  3. February 21, 2017 / 7:36 am

    This is so funny! Gina Forde has a lot to answer for! #twinklytuesday
    Claire recently posted…Squint SurgeryMy Profile

  4. February 21, 2017 / 7:55 am

    I was so going to be a cool, funky, relaxed mum; but that sooooo went out the window. Best of intentions and all that! #TwinklyTuesday

  5. February 21, 2017 / 8:00 am

    I remember having a list! Baby-brain coupled with reality seem to have wiped most of it from my memory, but I do remember a couple … which I definitely failed to stick to!
    #DreamTeam
    Jaclyn Bree recently posted…Doing Away with Throwaway!My Profile

  6. February 21, 2017 / 8:04 am

    Hehe i think these are all things we think of when we are first time mums! On number 3 now and im just happy to be keeping them all alive and happy! (my big 2 are currently sat on their ipads :s) #twinklytuesday

  7. February 21, 2017 / 9:06 am

    I really wish I didn’t look at my phone so much but swearing is apparently a sign of intelligence!!
    Danielle recently posted…Meal Prep is Real PrepMy Profile

  8. February 21, 2017 / 11:20 am

    I hear ya! Swearing in front of baby is something I started doing as soon as the sleep deprivation hit. I figured he wouldn’t pick it up because he wasn’t talking yet. Now he’s 10 months old so i have to start watching what I say. #TwinklyTuesday

  9. February 21, 2017 / 11:56 am

    The Tubblet’s first swear was “bugger” and I was so thrilled as wherever she got it from, it wasn’t me! A few others and I would have been guilty as charged. (Okay, this is probably one of the weirdest parenting wins I’ve shared, but you’ve got to take what you can get in this job!)

    Crying with laughter here …
    Tubbs recently posted…The Cruelty-Free Beauty Stash. Saying No to Animal Testing One Lipstick at a TimeMy Profile

  10. February 21, 2017 / 12:42 pm

    This was literally me 3 months ago with all my grand, pre-baby ideas. “I’ll never let my child have a dummy”… 2 days later and I’d practically glued it in her mouth! Oh and Pepper Pig became a staple at 2 weeks old… #twinklytuesday

  11. February 21, 2017 / 6:18 pm

    Haha great post! my little boy heard a boy swear at school and then came home and told me he had heard a word that he didn’t know if it was naughty or not….I asked what it was….Fuck mammy, he said!
    kerry recently posted…This week we have had Chicken pox!My Profile

  12. February 22, 2017 / 8:06 am

    I had some crazy notions too. What were we thinking? We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into and somehow we thought we were going to redefine parenting or something. But you know what, I’m glad I’m a bit more laid back about things these days. I can focus on what’s really important instead of stressing about some trivial non-issue that I invented. #BloggerClubUK

  13. February 22, 2017 / 9:49 am

    Oh, yes, the “before-parent” wisdom! We all had this lists of what we would and wouldn’t do but I think we’ve all failed at it! And it’s OK, because nothing can prepare you for it and only a parent knows that there are some things that you must do in order to survive the day;)) – including Peppa Pig!:) #bloggerclubUK

  14. February 22, 2017 / 10:11 am

    Firstly – he is bloody adorable! Secondly – didn’t we all do this!! My list was probably as long as my arm, I had so many opinions and ideas… I remember looking at parents in coffee shops engrossed in their phone while their kids sat with iPads and thinking how awful that was… These days I get it – it probably took that mum 2 hours to get out of the house after navigating three meltdowns about the colour of grass (“But I want pink grass!”) and now she just wants 5 minutes of peace to drink a coffee that isn’t luke-warm. Great post! #BloggerClubUK

  15. February 23, 2017 / 7:10 am

    Hahaha! YES! I am all 5 of these! #stayclassymama

  16. February 23, 2017 / 7:59 am

    Yep I said all those with my firstborn. I’m still just about managing not to swear but they may have heard a few mutterings ๐Ÿ™‚ #coolmumclub

  17. February 23, 2017 / 9:18 am

    Yeah, I don’t think I can stop swearing either. I’m not too concerned anyway. The TV thing is always an interesting one because what most of the studies really say is that TV is detrimental when it is used as a replacement for other enriching activities, meaning that as long as he’s still getting to do tons of enriching stuff, it shouldn’t matter. There is some evidence that it doesn’t really help with language learning (and that Baby Einstein stuff doesn’t do anything), but the absence of learning does not mean the presence of something bad. I have a PhD in genetics and my focus was in developmental neuroscience, so I’ve gone in and read the primary literature. I’ve yet to see anything that is actually super-convincing about TV really leading to actual cognitive issues. Also, I watched TV all the time when I was very little, according to my mother, and I have a PhD, so it can’t be too bad, right? #ablogginggoodtime

  18. February 23, 2017 / 9:20 am

    Oh I’ve been there, with all 3 children. The first was I wouldn’t let them watch TV – how would I ever get to drink a hot cuppa with no TV time? Ahh I just do whatever keeps them happy now, they’re only little for a while. #BloggerClubUK
    Amy & Tots recently posted…Making Baby Puree with Oxo TotMy Profile

  19. February 23, 2017 / 11:26 am

    My toddler swears ๐Ÿ™„ Haha. I think we all seem to see Gina ford and the whole “routine/perfect parent/never shout blah de blah but in reality, actually parenting is tough!! It’s a learn on the job kind of job. Screen time is ace. My toddler has learnt all sorts thanks to YouTube! Parenting would be lot bloody easier if there were more honest posts like this! #StayClassyMama

  20. February 23, 2017 / 11:41 am

    Ha, love this post, I wrote a similar post recently about what a perfect parent I was before I had kids! My son frequent talks all about a “duck” and we all know that he isn’t referring to an animal that swims on the lake in the park because that is obviously a “quack quack”….#coolmumclub

  21. February 23, 2017 / 12:21 pm

    We were one of those mums too with the the goodness and hope in the world ๐Ÿ˜‰ Sometimes it isn’t practical to live to those expectations xx #TwinklyTuesday #DreamTeam #BloggerClubUK
    Baby Isabella recently posted…PJ Masks Toy Vehicles ReviewMy Profile

  22. February 23, 2017 / 6:57 pm

    hah I was the same! how things change when they actually come along! I said I’d never be one of those parents who let their child use an ipad in a restaurant…but we’ve done that, needs must sometimes. And just like my kid would never watch tv….well, hes 4 and he can use the remote control better than me these days ๐Ÿ˜‰ #ablogginggoodtime

  23. February 23, 2017 / 7:36 pm

    Ha ha, Is it wrong that I would secretly love to read a post that your kiddo dropped the C-bomb as his first word ๐Ÿ˜‰

    You’re so right, pre-popping-kid out we all had some pretty blue sky visions of motherhood…needless to say the reality is less rainbows, more shitstorms ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub!
    mummuddlingthrough recently posted…#coolmumclub week 57My Profile

  24. February 23, 2017 / 9:29 pm

    Haha so true! I said so many of those things and more and have totally gone back on what I said. It’s when the reality sets in isn’t it!!! X #bloggerclubuk

  25. February 24, 2017 / 5:36 am

    #4- no one manages to hold out! I ran a daycare for 13 years and parents would act like they committed a crime when the first viewing happened. I would pat their back and congratulate them on being human and not a robot. #ThatFridayLinky
    Heather Keet recently posted…The true cost of childhoodโ€ฆMy Profile

  26. February 24, 2017 / 7:58 am

    haha … very good. Mine was “my children will never have a dummy” … by the second sleepless night home with raw nipples, the dummy came out and I didn’t look back until the eldest was around 3&1/2. Then the Easter Bunny took them both and swapped them for chocolate eggs. Winning. lol
    #thelistlinky

  27. February 24, 2017 / 10:41 am

    Haha! My friend’s son said “oh shit” for his first word. Mine said “banana”. It was a miracle. I suspect my youngest might say “for fucks sake” ๐Ÿ˜‰
    #coolmumclub

  28. February 24, 2017 / 1:03 pm

    Yep to all of these. I’m terrible for swearing and really need to be more mindful of the words I’m using! Brilliant post #friyay
    Rach recently posted…10 ThoughtsMy Profile

  29. February 24, 2017 / 2:39 pm

    it’s much harder to not swear in front of them than I’d imagined. One day when she was about 3 my daughter asked her mom if she could wear her “fucking shoes” that day. I’m guessing daddy had a hard time finding them the day before. #stayclassy
    jeremy@thirstydaddy recently posted…Thoughts of My GramMy Profile

  30. February 24, 2017 / 4:12 pm

    In the words of Rabbie Burns – The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley.

    We can only try so much before we need to give on ‘ideal parenting’. Sometimes we just need to do what we can to get by, right?

  31. February 24, 2017 / 8:21 pm

    I think we have all been there! I had a list of things that I wouldn’t do but did and to be completely honest that list was thrown completely out of the window when the second came along – whatever, if they are dressed and fed I’m winning.
    Swearing when I’m driving is the worst, I did say fuck once and Reuben spent the next 20 minutes asking why I had said fuck – funny he hears that but there are days I’ll sit next to him calling his name and he doesn’t hear me! #thatfridaylinky

  32. February 25, 2017 / 6:50 am

    Swearing is the big one for me. However, I’m getting better. I definitely don’t swear as much as I used to when he’s up. I do think I probably make up for it while he’s asleep though! #thatfridaylinky

  33. February 25, 2017 / 8:53 am

    I can relate to so many of these too! Ah the things we learn once we ACTUALLY become a parent! #thelistlinky

  34. February 25, 2017 / 3:16 pm

    Oh god yes I made so many rules for myself, then though bugger it! A few weeks of sleep deprivation and you realise every idea you have is nonsense. We had a dummy, I bottle fed, I let him watch tv, I would not let him eat anything out of a jar…you survive as a parent, you do the best you can! Laughed a lot through this #stayclassymama xx

  35. Nige
    February 25, 2017 / 8:46 pm

    I’m pretty sure we all are guilty of these mum’s or dads haha! Super post Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  36. February 26, 2017 / 6:43 am

    Ha ha, oh the naรฏvetรฉ, we’ve all been there. I was never going to shout at my kids, I bet you can guess how that turned out ๐Ÿ˜‚
    #TheListLinky
    Alana – Burnished Chaos recently posted…Happy Days: Half-Term FunMy Profile

  37. February 26, 2017 / 3:05 pm

    Hahaha i think every parent will related to this! I said I wasn’t going to let mine watch TV.. it’s a slippery slope when Peppa gets involved! But I see no harm in it! #TwinklyTuesday

  38. February 26, 2017 / 8:30 pm

    The parenting ideals all go out the window pretty quickly I have found but with two teenagers who have both been allowed to do all those things I said I wouldn’t let them do and survived I would say don’t worry too much. #ablogginggoodtime

  39. February 26, 2017 / 8:41 pm

    Oh yes! I am so there with some of these! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  40. February 27, 2017 / 6:08 pm

    Love this and it’s so true. I had someone tell me (she wasn’t a parent at the time) that I spoke too much about my daughter. She had her own baby and all she talks about, is her daughter haha. #MarvMondays

  41. February 27, 2017 / 11:41 pm

    Haha I love this! I’m having such a hard time curbing the swearing infront of my 2 year old who is like a parrot eeeek. At least I know I’m not alone there ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks so much for linking up to #dreamteam hope to see you next time ๐Ÿ™‚ x
    Bridie By The Sea recently posted…Spring Time with the Baby JoggerMy Profile

  42. February 28, 2017 / 2:35 pm

    Oh how the mighty fall…talking about myself here…been there done that..I just had a slightly different list but same principle. I never even though my phone or swearing would be an issue but if I was to make this list now, these two things would definitely be on that. Haha. #Stayclassymama

  43. March 1, 2017 / 10:20 am

    Such a cutie and yeah I am with you on the lot. So many easily broken resolutions!
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

  44. March 2, 2017 / 11:38 pm

    I feel the need to say…Fuck it. I literally do all of these things, not on purpose but I do. My little ones are perfectly happy as I’m sure yours are ๐Ÿ™‚ Also..my mum is AMAZING at doing the saying something else instead of swearing thing, but she never says actually words just made up random sentences! It’s hilarious xx

  45. March 2, 2017 / 11:39 pm

    Haha I love this! My son is 5 and tried out saying shit the other day, I laughed in shock and his dad told him off, I’m such a child lol! Thanks for linking up to the #FriYAYLinky !! xx

  46. March 4, 2017 / 7:08 am

    Totally identify with these, really cracked me up esp the c word!!! Thanks for sharing for #marvmondays xx

  47. March 4, 2017 / 12:15 pm

    Think the only one I kept was not to have tvs in their rooms. Bit daft now when they have their phones, but they are 17 and no tvs in their rooms!!

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