IKEA, the land of flat pack opportunity. The place where interior dreams become reality and credit cards go to die. A Swedish haven, scented with cinnamon and served with a generous helping of delicious meaty balls.
It’s like an adult equivalent of soft play. As you walk into the bit with all the fake living rooms you’re met with this overwhelming sense of excitement. The possibility of redecorating your entire home combines with the anxiety of cramming everything into your Ford Fiesta and you drift off into a LÄCKÖ induced haze.
The next 12 hours are spent like some Scandinavian Dorthy, following the blueprint map in the hope of one day returning to your ideal hygge home. It’s inevitable you’ll forget the one thing you came for but you’ll leave feeling satisfied with your carefully selected blue bag of tat – paper napkins, tea light candles, finger puppets, a fake pot plant and enough straws to entertain an army of toddlers!
Trips to IKEA are normally few and far between. Reserved for the purposes of buying larger items and meticulously planned months in advance. But all of that’s about to change. Today IKEA Sheffield will open it’s doors to the general public. Our Steel City is getting its very own Nordic touch and I for one could not be happier!
If I was religious, Ikea would be my idea of heaven. *Fun fact: did you know the IKEA catalogue is read by three times more people than the bible every year? There are several reasons for my great love of all things IKEA. Reasons which I’m sure could even persuade The Lancashire Hotpots to go there again!
1. The Food
I remember the first time I went to IKEA like the time I lost my virginity. Both events occurred later in my life than I first imagined and both were stereotypically uneventful, but the thing that sets Ikea apart is scrumptious array of reasonably priced grub! Clearly the scandal of 2013 didn’t put anyone off. We’re still lapping up their meatballs and nobodies even questioned what’s in the Daim cake!
2. The FREE Little Pencils
Technically not free but part of the fun is trying to see how many you can smuggle home. I know I woman at work who’s going to be using IKEA pencils for the foreseeable future.
3. The Random Names
Some may say that the fact you have to source your own items in the warehouse is a hinderance. I see if as a great big game of where’s Wally. Except instead of looking for some crazy dude with no dress sense you’re off in search of a bed which is named after a Norwegian town.
4. The Creche
Since becoming a mother I’ve visited IKEA once. FYI Rory is two five months time so that probably says a lot about why I’m so fecking excited! It wasn’t until last week when someone at work mentioned the creche that my ears pricked up. Clearly in my pre-baby days I’ve scurried straight past, oblivious to joy bestowed upon disgruntled parents in need of an hours peace. “See you later kid, mamas off to eat some meatballs!”
5. The Great Big Blue Bags
Ever wondered why the bags at IKEA are so big? It’s because they know you’re going to overspend – Cheese grater with a container? I’ve got 3 but I’ll have another! It would be pointless having 10p bags for life, you’d be there a lifetime! One benefit to those ginormous sacks is that they’re perfect for hiding your unironed clothes in.
6. The Plastic Kids Plates
Otherwise known as the universal tableware of any child under the age of ten. A pack of six sets you back less than £2 and sure you kids will fight over their favourite colour but that’s your own fault for having too many kids! Obviously that’s a joke, just buy more plates.
If you’ve got a sec, please leave us a comment because we’d love to know what you thought!